
LTA To Deploy Landmines In Bus Lanes For Merging Early
The Land Transport Authority (LTA) unveiled a "Zero-Tolerance" policy today to ensure every double-decker arrives three seconds faster.
From Monday, any private vehicle clipping a yellow line before 8:00 PM will be instantly vaporised by orbital lasers.
LTA spokespeople explained that fines are no longer a sufficient stimulant for the city's entitled motorists.
“Wah lau, these drivers always think their father own the road, so we just boom them lor,” said commuter Mr. Lim.
“Now the bus very fast, no more Mercedes block the way, confirm plus chop shiok!”
Officials confirmed the smell of charred luxury leather is a small price for peak-hour efficiency.
Commuters are encouraged to cheer as errant BMWs are reduced to ash.
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