The Land Transport Authority has officially rebranded its most isolated bus interchanges as "Voluntary Missing Persons Zones" for citizens tired of being found.

Commuters are encouraged to bring emergency flares and a written will before attempting to navigate the three-kilometre industrial wasteland connecting the MRT to the bus bays.

An LTA spokesperson confirmed that the heat-stroke-inducing trek is a deliberate "population management" strategy designed to thin out the slow-moving elderly.

“Siao ah, I walk until I see my ancestors waving at me from the Tuas horizon,” said local commuter, Ah Hock.

“I reach the interchange already but the bus only come every forty minutes, so I just lay down and wait for the crows to eat me,” he added.