The Land Transport Authority announced today that any driver caught stationary in a yellow box junction will be legally declared a "national disgrace" and have their vehicle permanently fused to the asphalt.

This initiative aims to curb the rampant narcissism of drivers who believe their 2012 Toyota Corolla has a divine right to obstruct three lanes of peak-hour traffic.

Under the new "Gridlock or Death" policy, surrounding commuters are encouraged to pelt the offender with cold laksa until the vehicle is towed to a scrap yard.

"Siao eh, he block the box like it's his grandfather's road, so I just throw my shoes at him lor," commented local commuter Ah Huat.

Transport officials confirmed that ERP gantries will now double as missile turrets to ensure total compliance with basic spatial awareness.