Singaporean women are celebrating the glorious biological loophole that allows them to conquer the corporate ladder before their male peers have even mastered the art of folding underwear.

While local men are busy camouflaging their faces in the jungle to hide from imaginary invaders, their female counterparts are already securing management roles and inflating the property market.

“Wait for what? He stay there dig trench, I stay here get degree lor,” said 21-year-old high-flyer, Cheryl Tan, while looking at her gold Rolex.

“By the time he ORD and find his brain, I already Senior VP and looking for a richer husband anyway, so act blur, live longer right?”

Corporal Low, currently cleaning a toilet with a toothbrush, commented: “Limpeh still here counting days until can go out, she already buying car, sibeh win liao.”

The government confirmed this two-year head start is essential for gender equality.