The Ministry of Education has confirmed that Singaporean females are now legally required to reach senior management before their male peers finish their first route march.

While local boys spend twenty-four months mastering the intellectual pursuit of folding underwear, women are busy monopolising the entire financial sector.

"I already Regional Director lor, my boyfren still kena knock it down because he never shave properly," laughed 22-year-old corporate titan, Janice Lim.

This strategic two-year head start ensures that by the time men enter the workforce, their female superiors are already bored of their third promotion.

"He come out from army only know how to say 'Yes Sergeant', but I already know how to fire him already," Janice added while reviewing her stock portfolio.

Statisticians claim this gap is essential for maintaining a society where at least half the population remembers how to function without a shouting superior.