Local cretin Nicholas Tan spent $600 for a night at a luxury hotel just to order a $42 bowl of processed instant noodles.

The "Deconstructed Umami Grain-Fed Broth" arrived with a single limp prawn and enough salt to stop a horse's heart.

Nicholas, who lives ten minutes away, claimed the overpriced sodium bomb tasted like "pure social climbing."

"Wah lau, the Maggi Mee here got high-SES air-con smell, damn worth it sia," Nicholas barked while licking the gold-plated MSG off his fingers.

Hotel management confirmed that the 4,000% markup is necessary to maintain the illusion that guests aren't just paying to sleep in a slightly cleaner version of their own flat.

"If they want cheap food, they can go downstairs, but these idiots love being fleeced while wearing a polyester bathrobe," a concierge whispered while charging $18 for a glass of lukewarm tap water.