The Singapore government has officially designated the humid, dimly lit KTV booth as the only place where citizens can legally fail without being deported.

Thousands of salarymen are currently paying exorbitant hourly rates to hold a sticky microphone and assault the eardrums of everyone within a three-block radius.

These vocal atrocities, usually involving out-of-tune renditions of Mandopop, are considered the height of leisure for a population that treats sleep as a luxury.

Local enthusiast, Ah Hock, was seen sweating profusely while trying to reach a note that only stray cats and property agents can hear.

"Eh, I pay so much for the room, I must scream until the speakers burst lah," Ah Hock remarked while spilling warm green tea on his trousers.

"My boss always scold me in office, so here I scold the mic, very shiok one, confirm no stress."

Authorities confirm that as long as the singing is bad enough to cause permanent hearing loss, it counts as a successful national hobby.