In a display of sheer tactical stupidity, eighteen-year-old Jason Lim arrived at Pulau Tekong today wearing a limited-edition Supreme hoodie, apparently under the impression that the Singapore Armed Forces was a fashion show.

The local "influencer" strutted onto the ferry looking like a budget K-pop star, blissfully unaware that his $800 ensemble was about to be traded for a polyester shirt that smells like industrial bleach and failure.

Witnesses report that Lim spent forty minutes styling his hair with premium pomade, only for a SAF-contracted barber to butcher his vanity in precisely nine seconds.

"Wah lau, this one think what? Catwalk ah?" remarked Corporal Tan, as he shoved a duffel bag of itchy green uniforms into the boy’s trembling arms.

"You wear gold also no use one, later you also crawl in the mud and smell like rotten cock with the rest of us, understand or not?"

By noon, the former hypebeast was seen sobbing quietly into his standard-issue grey towel, his individuality officially deleted by the state.

The $200 sneakers were shoved into a locker, destined to rot alongside his dreams of ever getting laid before 2026.

Jason’s father, who also lost his soul at Tekong in 1994, stood on the pier waving goodbye, laughing at the sheer carnage.