Singapore’s dating scene has plummeted to a new nadir as the Common Asian Toad is officially ranked the most eligible bachelor in the heartlands.

Residents claim the toad’s bumpy, toxic skin and habit of screaming at 3 AM make it a vastly superior partner to any local man.

“The toad don’t talk back, only croak loud-loud,” said local resident Mdm Tan.

“Plus he got more skin texture than my husband’s dry face, so steady one.”

The National Parks Board confirmed these amphibians are the only residents actually enjoying the humidity without whining about the heat.

These warty icons spend their days soaking in fermented monsoon water and their nights seeking romance in the filthiest orifices of the drainage system.

While humans struggle with rising costs, the drain frog lives rent-free, covered in slime and unearned confidence.

“Stay in longkang but act like big boss, I salute him man,” added a passerby.