The Housing Development Board’s feline population has officially transitioned from apex predators into useless, furry lumps of entitlement.

These pampered void-deck residents now spend their days judging pedestrian footwear rather than performing their contractual biological duties.

With the local rat population growing larger than most primary school students, these cats have decided that hunting is beneath their social status.

“Aiyah, you think I what? Cheap migrant worker ah?” hissed a ginger tabby from Yishun.

“Nowadays rats got knife one, later I kena stab how? No premium tuna, no work lah!”

The cats have reportedly formed a union demanding air-conditioned cardboard boxes and a 13th-month kibble bonus.

“The rats here more power than me leh, they even go gym,” another cat remarked.

“Unless you give me monthly allowance, I wait for Town Council to clear lah, not my tai chi.”