The Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) has unveiled a new ‘Distinguished Slacker Medal’ to honour the unparalleled lethargy of the Transport formation.

Corporal Lim, a self-proclaimed ‘professional steering-wheel holder’, received the award after successfully napping through a simulated chemical attack while parked behind a cluster of trees.

While infantry troopers were busy eating dirt and sweating through their rectums, the transport boys were seen engaging in their core operational task: pretending the vehicle engine was broken.

“Walao eh, you think easy ah? Every day must sit inside the tonner, engine on, and pretend my logbook is updated,” complained CPL Lim.

“My backside also pain from sitting down so long, lanjiao, transport life is truly the most shag in the whole SAF,” he added while reclining his seat.

Military experts suggest that if an actual invasion occurred, the nation’s primary line of defence would be a fleet of 5-tonners parked in a circle while drivers finish their Mobile Legends match.

“Steady pom pi pi, as long as the Sergeant don’t find my hiding spot, I can snake until ORD,” whispered another driver while tucked under a camouflage net.

The Ministry of Defence remains confident that as long as there is a quiet carpark, these heroes will continue to do absolutely nothing.