The Singapore Armed Forces has officially recognised Corporal (NS) Tan as a tactical genius for successfully avoiding a single drop of sweat during his entire two-year enlistment.

Tan, a professional "Logistics Specialist," spent 730 days mastering the dark arts of "chao keng" within the air-conditioned sanctuary of the Quartermaster’s store.

While combat-fit infantrymen were puking their lungs out in the jungle, Tan was reportedly achieving a higher state of consciousness on a bed made of expired Field Packs and crusty inner vests.

"This CB kia really damn power, man," noted 1SG Koh, who hasn't seen the storeman’s face since the 2022 unit cohesion.

"Every time I go store find him, he 'out on indent' or 'seeing MO'—I think the fucker actually live inside the ceiling board like one parasite."

Tan’s primary contribution to national security involved "misplacing" the paperwork for 400 SAR-21 magazines and maintaining a permanent indent for more Milo powder.

"Eh, you think easy ah? Hiding from Encik for two years is a full-time job, cannot let the boots click too loud on the floor," Tan whispered while nestled under a pile of camouflaged netting.

The Ministry of Defence is now considering a new PES status for those whose only physical exertion is opening a packet of Khong Guan biscuits.