The Immigration and Checkpoints Authority has unveiled plans to install on-site crematoriums along the Causeway to handle commuters dying of old age in the queue.

With wait times now exceeding the average human lifespan, officials believe incinerating remains in situ is more efficient than towing cars filled with skeletons.

"Liddat wait I also can die, my son go secondary school already I still haven't clear customs leh," complained Jerry Lim, who entered the jam in 2003.

The government is also considering issuing death certificates as standard travel documents for anyone attempting to cross into Johor Bahru on a long weekend.

By the time most Singaporeans reach the Malaysian petrol stations, their vehicles have usually rusted into piles of useless orange dust.