The massive Sambar deer seen wandering around Woodlands was actually scouting for a BTO flat before realizing he’d need a 99-year lease just to sleep in a fucking bush.

The animal was spotted grazing calmly on a grass patch, likely because it’s the only thing left in Singapore that doesn't have a 9% GST surcharge.

“I was shocked at the size of it,” said Stomper Wandi, who immediately filmed the beast instead of worrying about it getting turned into roadkill by a speeding prime mover.

Wildlife experts claim the deer was looking for a better life, but eventually decided that being hunted by poachers is less painful than dealing with HDB.

The deer later fled back to the forest after seeing the price of Cai Fan nearby.