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Singapore Slurp: HDB Assures Nation They Totally Hate Collecting Your Money
singapore news

HDB Assures Nation They Totally Hate Collecting Your Money

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Daniel Lim
Friday 10th April 2026 @ 03:28 SST
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Senior Minister Sun Xueling bravely informed Parliament that HDB finds the concept of “revenue” absolutely repulsive.

When deciding whether to turn a depressing concrete carpark into something useful for the community, the government ignores the millions in lost fees because they are basically Mother Teresa in white uniforms.

Sun clarified that empty lots at Clementi Peaks need time to “stabilise,” which is Gahmen-speak for waiting until more suckers can afford a $150,000 COE.

The Ministry insists that keeping thousands of square feet vacant has nothing to do with cash, but everything to do with the spiritual zen of fire safety.

Jamus Lim was scolded for suggesting the authorities like money, a claim more offensive than a warm Tiger beer.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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