
GV Gold Class Now Charges $1,000 To Snore Near Richer People
Golden Village has unveiled its new ‘Absolute Vegetative State’ tier for patrons who find standard recliners too intellectually stimulating.
For the price of a used Honda, moviegoers can now be hand-fed deconstructed popcorn by a server with a PhD in silence.
The experience guarantees zero interaction with the movie, the plot, or the crushing reality of a declining GDP.
Frequent patron, Mr. Lim, praised the new automated catheter system that allows for uninterrupted sessions of extreme lepak.
"Eh, I pay one thousand dollars just to concuss inside the hall, don't disturb me can or not?" Mr. Lim barked while being massaged by a bionic foot-rest.
"The movie boring anyway, I come here just to flex that I can afford to sleep in public air-con."
GV management confirmed that true luxury is paying a month’s salary to achieve the same mental state as a potato.
If you aren't spending four figures to ignore a Marvel sequel, you're basically a beggar.
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