Golden Village has unveiled its "Obsidian Diamond" tier, catering to Singaporeans who find the effort of sitting upright physically repulsive.

For the price of a pre-owned vehicle, patrons are strapped into a zero-gravity pod and fitted with a medical-grade catheter to ensure the cinematic experience remains uninterrupted by basic biology.

"Wah lau, last time I pay eighty dollars still must hold my own popcorn, so sian," remarked local socialite Cheryl Tan.

"Now for five thousand, the butler even chew the wagyu burger for me and spit it into my mouth like a mother bird, damn steady!"

The package includes a dedicated "Oxygen Concierge" who manually pumps the viewer’s lungs to prevent the mild caloric burn of involuntary breathing.

GV management confirmed that if a customer accidentally develops a muscle spasm from genuine excitement, a hidden taser will immediately restore them to a state of expensive lethargy.