As Donald Trump threatens to unleash "all Hell" on Iran, Singaporeans have reacted with the legendary courage of a nation that panics when a grocery store runs out of eggs.

Grab has already preemptively implemented a $15 "Global Annihilation Surcharge" to help drivers cope with the high cost of watching the world burn.

MFA issued a travel advisory suggesting that Singaporean influencers "maybe don't go to Tehran for your fucking aesthetic desert photoshoot" this weekend.

"I don't care about the missiles," complained one local uncle while refuelling his Mercedes. "As long as the Strait of Hormuz stays open for my Shopee delivery, they can bomb everyone."

The government reminds citizens that your HDB bomb shelter is for storing junk, not surviving a nuclear winter.