The Ministry of Sustainability has announced a revolutionary resource-gathering initiative centered on the masochistic psychopaths who frequent Bukit Timah Hill.

Instead of boring old desalination, Singapore will now meet its national salt requirements by wringing out the saturated, nipple-chafing polyester shirts of weekend hikers.

These self-proclaimed fitness enthusiasts spend three hours climbing a glorified anthill only to emerge looking like they have been waterboarded by the humidity.

One witness, 42-year-old Lim Ah Hock, was seen dripping enough liquid to sustain a small desert ecosystem from his cargo shorts.

"Wah lau, my underwear also can squeeze out one bowl of fishball soup liao, damn shiok but want to die," Lim commented while gasping for oxygen.

Authorities recommend that hikers continue pretending this is leisure while their sweat glands commit collective suicide in the 98% humidity.