The Singapore Tourism Board has officially rebranded the carbon monoxide-heavy clouds of Lau Pa Sat’s Satay Street as a "holistic volcanic mist."

Thousands of corporate drones flee their air-conditioned cubicles nightly to "lepak" in a dense haze that shares the same chemical profile as a Grade-A warehouse fire.

Health enthusiasts now claim that inhaling the rendered fat of forty thousand chickens is the only way to truly "detox" from a day of soul-crushing spreadsheets.

One local "lepak" professional, Mr. Tan, was seen aggressively fanning charcoal soot into his open pores with a laminated menu.

"Wah lao, the smoke is the best part leh, can feel the cholesterol entering my lungs directly, damn shiok!" he gasped between violent coughing fits.

"Outside very hot, but here got 'natural' fog like Genting Highlands, just that it smells like burnt turmeric and financial regret."

Economists argue that paying $80 for meat the size of a hamster's kidney is the peak of Singaporean leisure.