Minister Grace Fu has warned that a "Godzilla" El Niño is coming to turn the Little Red Dot into a literal convection oven.

With sea temperatures rising, the government is bracing for a haze so thick you can finally chew the air drifting over from Sumatra.

Climate experts predict that by 2027, the most effective way to survive a walk to the MRT is by wearing a suit made of dry ice.

The Public Utilities Board is already preparing to pump 100% pure recycled urine directly into your kitchen taps to combat the drought.

Meanwhile, local aunties are thrilled that their laundry will now dry in approximately four seconds.

Environmental scientists noted that while the heat might kill the coral reefs, it will also finally incinerate the lingering smell of your neighbour's rotting trash.

Residents are urged to stay indoors, unless they wish to be charred like a cheap satay stick.