Singapore authorities have reminded the public that while killing a child is a minor clerical error, hurt feelings are a national emergency.

The court issued a gag order to ensure the driver’s son doesn’t face the trauma of reading Lim Kopi’s spicy Facebook comments about his mother's driving.

For the bargain price of a $10,000 fine, you too can treat the Chinatown carpark like a GTA side mission with minimal legal consequences.

Lawyers successfully argued that the driver’s son shouldn’t have his social life ruined just because his mother is a total CB behind the wheel.

The victim’s family has been advised that their grief is secondary to the pressing need for a local minor to avoid “embarrassment.”

If you must die, please do so without making a teenager feel awkward on Instagram, you selfish prick.