
Foodpanda Launches ‘Bin-To-Table’ Concept To Match Sengkang’s General Vibe
Local kaypoh and professional snitch Eugene has finally justified his pathetic existence by photographing a Foodpanda rider who has clearly run out of fucks to give.
The rider was caught 'plating' deliveries on the floor next to a Sengkang bin centre, presumably to ensure the food smells exactly like the neighbourhood it’s being delivered to.
Foodpanda management confirmed this is part of their new 'Urban Fermentation' initiative, where the ambient aroma of rotting leftovers and damp cardboard adds a complex, earthy profile to your lukewarm nuggets.
"We noticed Sengkang residents were becoming too soft, so we decided to introduce some natural HDB antibodies into their diet," said a spokesperson while counting their commission.
Stomper Eugene reportedly spent forty minutes crouching behind a motorcycle to get the shot, because apparently, being a snitching cb is a full-time career in Singapore.
"If you’re ordering breakfast at 7am from a rider earning peanuts, you don't deserve a white-tablecloth experience, you si gina," remarked another rider who was busy scratching his lan jiao.
The rider’s 'inconsiderate' behaviour is being praised by experimental foodies who believe that the essence of 'Bin-Juice' is the next big culinary trend after salted egg yolk.
Eugene’s concern for 'food-borne illness' has been noted, though doctors suggest his addiction to kaypoh-ing is a far more terminal condition than a bit of floor-spice.
Foodpanda has reminded all partners that while the floor is acceptable, they should avoid placing orders directly inside the bin unless the customer is from Yishun.
At press time, Eugene was seen calling the police because he saw a stray cat looking at him too 'challengingly' near the same bin centre.
This satire is based on a real news story.
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