Eighteen Chefs has scrapped its policy requiring sick staff to submit clinic selfies, confirming that HR finally grew tired of receiving 50 daily photos of feverish, ugly losers.

Management, apparently missing the nostalgic thrill of a morning prison roll-call, initially demanded staff prove their illness by snapping a pic at the doctor’s—ideally while the thermometer was still lodged in their ass.

"I just wanted to see the light leave their eyes," whispered one middle-manager while jerking off to medical certificates.

Since the U-turn, employees have returned to the sacred Singaporean tradition of "chao keng" without the burden of being photogenic.

The company is now considering a new rule: staff must livestream their own autopsies to qualify for unpaid leave.