The MV Hondius has officially raised the bar for "all-inclusive" packages by offering Sinkie passengers a bespoke chance to liquefy their lungs via infected rodent droppings.

Local retirees are reportedly queuing up for the next sailing, noting that contracting a rare hemorrhagic fever in the middle of the Atlantic is significantly more prestigious than collapsing in a Jurong West coffee shop.

"I paid $12,000 for this suite, so I expect a world-class departure," said one auntie, currently gasping for air while stubbornly clutching a plate of cold prawns from the buffet.

"If I am going to meet my ancestors, I want it to be caused by exotic Argentinian rat piss, not some low-class virus from a Bukit Timah long-tailed macaque."

Cruise operators have moved quickly to manage the PR fallout, rebranding the fatal respiratory failure as the "Bespoke Breathless Experience" for Diamond Tier members.

They insist that the scent of infected mouse urine is actually a limited-edition aromatherapy mist designed to help passengers truly "let go" of their worldly assets.

As the ship drifts towards South Africa with a hull full of high-end corpses, surviving passengers remain mostly annoyed that the deceased are still hogging the best deck chairs near the pool.