Davinder Singh, the legal equivalent of a great white shark in a tailored suit, spent five hours explaining that "secrecy" is just a word used by people who don't have a corporate credit card.

Minister K. Shanmugam and Tan See Leng watched the proceedings with the serene confidence of men who know exactly where every cent of GCB money goes, even if you don’t.

The trial hinged on whether a property deal is truly "secret" if the public has to pay a government website $20 to see it, or if Bloomberg is just being a cheapskate.

Singh pointed out that anyone with a functioning internet connection and a complete lack of financial common sense could easily find out who bought what mansion.

"It's not a secret if you can buy the answer," Singh essentially argued, while staring into the reporter’s soul like he was looking for unpaid parking fines.

Bloomberg reporter Low De Wei attempted to argue that normal Singaporeans don't spend their weekends burning thousands of dollars on the INLIS database to see which tycoon is moving into a bungalow.

Low was quickly reminded that in Singapore, being unable to afford the truth is a personal failure, not a government conspiracy.

The prosecution suggested that "shrouded in secrecy" is a bit dramatic for a process that just requires a few dozen clicks and a valid credit card.

"If I hide my car keys in a safe and charge you $50 to open it, that’s not a secret, that’s a business model," a legal expert didn't say, but definitely thought.

Davinder Singh essentially asked the reporter if he was siao for thinking twenty bucks was too expensive for a bit of high-end property gossip.

The court heard that the government definitely knows who the buyers are, they just choose to let property agents do the "primary gatekeeping" because actual paperwork is for peasants.

Low’s claim that it’s difficult to find non-caveated deals was met with the kind of skepticism usually reserved for people who say they actually enjoy National Service.

The judge sat through the semantic gymnastics, likely wondering if common sense is also hidden behind a $21.80 paywall on a URA portal.

By the end of the session, it was clear that in the eyes of the law, the only thing "shrouded" in this country is the hope of ever owning a home with a garden.

Low was accused of being "disingenuous," which is the high-society way of calling someone a "liar liar pants on fire" without losing your Senior Counsel status.

As the trial adjourned, Singaporeans were reminded that transparency is always available to the public, provided the public is willing to skip a few meals to pay the search fees.

The case continues, proving once again that the most expensive thing in Singapore isn't a bungalow, but a lawyer's billable hours.