The recent gas explosion in Shanxi that deleted 90 miners is being hailed as the most effective HR downsizing strategy of the decade.

One survivor recalled smelling sulphur, a scent Singaporeans usually associate with a particularly pungent long weekend at Geylang or an MRT passenger who hasn't showered since 2022.

While President Xi Jinping has ordered a thorough investigation, corporate experts are actually taking notes on how to achieve such a total workforce reduction without the hassle of firing people via a cold LinkedIn message.

A local SME boss reportedly felt envious of the blast, noting that a massive fireball is significantly more cost-effective than paying out notice periods or dealing with a MOM complaint.

“It’s the ultimate deterrent for those asking for a raise,” he remarked, while wondering if he could legally install gas leaks in his company’s pantry.

Authorities confirmed carbon monoxide levels were lethal, providing the miners with a deep sleep that even the most expensive mattress couldn't achieve.