Residents of Yew Mei Green were treated to a mandatory 4:50 am cardio session after some cheapskate’s $2 powerbank decided to self-immolate.

Nothing screams “exclusive luxury living” like standing on a damp pavement at dawn, shivering in your holey Uniqlo boxers while 149 other losers judge your shitty morning breath.

Two victims inhaled enough smoke to simulate a long weekend in New Delhi but refused hospital transport, likely because a private hire car is cheaper than an ambulance.

SCDF reminds all residents that if you’re going to burn your $1.5 million investment to the ground, please use a charger that actually has a Safety Mark.

Otherwise, you’re just an HDB-tier fire hazard with a gym membership you never fucking use.