The Ministry of Defence has successfully triggered a nationwide spike in male hypertension by blasting out the latest batch of SAF100 call-up notices.

Thousands of high-flying Regional Directors were seen weeping into their artisanal coffee as they realised they must soon trade their tailored Italian suits for moth-eaten, sweat-stained fatigues.

The "ICT Dread" season officially begins when a 38-year-old man realises his ILBV vest now fits like a sports bra and his combat boots have disintegrated into a fine toxic powder.

“Walao eh, every year also like that, my heart drop when I see the SMS,” sobbed CPT (NS) Tan, while trying to suck in his stomach to close his trousers.

“The only tactical movement I do now is running to the toilet when my boss calls, how to go chiong sua in the jungle?”

Commanders confirm that the most dangerous part of ICT isn't live firing, but the risk of a corporate lawyer's head exploding when a 19-year-old NSF shouts at him for being a "slow soldier."

“Eh uncle, don’t keng leh, just because you big fuck in office don’t mean you can skip the route march,” shouted a 20-year-old Sergeant with more acne than life experience.

Ultimately, ICT remains a vital national pillar, ensuring that every Singaporean male remains perpetually terrified of his own mailbox.