Singapore’s premier academic superstar, Dr. Titus Tan, has announced he will henceforth only accept blood oaths and high-yield equity.

The Physics icon, whose face currently covers more billboard square footage than the Prime Minister, recently sold out the National Stadium for a lecture on friction.

"Eh, you think his A1-guaranteed notes come free is it?" remarked Mdm Lim, who sold her car for front-row "Mosh Pit" tickets.

"My son need to breathe the same air as him, if not his brain cannot absorb the power lah!"

The tutor’s latest merchandise drop includes a $2,000 limited-edition ruler that only draws straight lines towards Ivy League admissions.

Critics suggest this personality cult is spiraling, but they were promptly trampled by a mob of parents wielding heavy-duty assessment books.

"Liddat also want to complain? He is the God of Integration, don't anyhow talk!" screamed one fanatical mother.