Beijing has officially reminded AI founders that putting a Merlion sticker on a Shenzhen algorithm doesn't mean they’ve escaped the Motherland.

The unravelling of Meta’s $2 billion acquisition of Manus has sent shockwaves through the local tech scene, particularly among men who spent their life savings on "Global Entrepreneur" visas.

The "Singaporean" firm, which consists entirely of engineers from Shaanxi who moved to Tanjong Pagar three weeks ago, was shocked to learn that China still owns their intellectual property.

"We thought the Singapore passport acted like a magic cloak of invisibility against state surveillance," said one founder who is currently being "invited" to stay in a mainland hotel until the sun explodes.

Beijing clarified that "origin-washing" is a pathetic attempt to flirt with American capital while still using the CCP’s brainpower.

Mark Zuckerberg is reportedly furious after realizing he almost spent $2 billion on a company that requires a special permit from Xi Jinping just to update its privacy policy.

Local officials confirmed that as long as the tax revenue clears, they don't care if a CEO is a local or a high-ranking member of the Politburo in a batik shirt.

Experts suggest the best way to truly escape Beijing's reach is to launch a startup from a different dimension.