Cathay Pacific has decided to scrap 2 per cent of its flights because they’ve finally realized that paying for jet fuel is a huge vibe killer for their profit margins.

The airline explained that the ongoing chaos in the Middle East has made oil prices more volatile than a menopause-driven auntie at a Jurong West wet market.

“We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, but we’d rather let you rot in the terminal than spend another cent on fuel,” a spokesperson said while refreshing their offshore bank account balance.

HK Express is also slashing 6 per cent of its capacity, which is great news for anyone who didn’t actually want to spend four hours being sat on by a sweaty stranger in a middle seat.

Management suggests that passengers affected by the cancellations should consider alternative transport methods, such as rowing a sampan or just developing the ability to teleport through sheer willpower.

Travelers bound for Riyadh or Dubai are reportedly the most affected, though nobody really cares since those people are usually just there to take "blessed" selfies in the desert.

Local travel enthusiasts have reacted with predictable grace, with many taking to TikTok to scream at 19-year-old ground staff who have as much power over flight schedules as a piece of kway teow.

The airline promised that operations would resume after June, assuming the world hasn't descended into a nuclear winter that makes fuel costs the least of our fucking problems.

Until then, Cathay Pacific recommends that instead of flying, you stay at home and contemplate why your life is so empty that a cancelled flight feels like a war crime.

Sinkies who still insist on traveling are advised to pack a parachute and hope the pilot decides to glide halfway to save on overheads.