Batam authorities have officially clarified that the massive “No Tipping” signs plastered across the ferry terminal are intended as performance art rather than actual policy.

The announcement follows a series of unfortunate incidents where Singaporean tourists were detained for the crime of having a face that looked like it could afford an extra $100.

“We want to be very clear that ‘No Tipping’ means you should not insult our officers with small change,” explained a spokesperson while polishing a gold watch he definitely bought with his official salary.

“If you are going to pay for our children’s private education, please do it with the professional courtesy of a hundred-dollar bill tucked inside a passport.”

For Singaporeans like 48-year-old Roy, the “No Tipping” sign has always been a hilarious suggestion, much like the “No Smoking” signs in a Geylang coffee shop.

“I saw the sign and I laughed so hard that I accidentally handed the officer a fifty-dollar note just to show there were no hard feelings,” Roy told reporters while waiting for his massage.

“In Batam, the law is like the seafood—it’s seasonal, negotiable, and usually gives you a bit of a stomach ache later.”

The Indonesian government has responded to the public outcry by reassigning five officers to a high-security basement where they can count their “bonuses” in peace.

Analysts suggest that the corruption is actually a sophisticated “Economic Equalisation Program” designed to transfer wealth from people who wear expensive Garmin watches to people who have the power to put them in a cell.

“You Singaporeans come here to enjoy our cheap beer and $15 pedicures, so it’s only fair we charge a small ‘Convenience Fee’ for not losing your passport in a shredder,” another officer noted.

The new QR code complaint system is also working perfectly, as it allows the authorities to identify exactly which tourists have enough money to be worth extorting a second time.

Ultimately, the Batam Immigration Office remains committed to transparency, provided that transparency involves a clear plastic folder with a thick stack of rupiah inside.

Travellers are reminded that while entry to Indonesia is technically free, staying out of a damp interrogation room for two hours is a premium add-on.

“Think of it like a battle pass for real life,” said one frequent traveller who keeps a separate “Bribe Wallet” for his weekend trips.

“If you’re too cheap to pay the $75 gate tax, you might as well stay in Jurong and stare at the wall.”