Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim has officially threatened to hit the "reset" button on the entire country because his cabinet members won't stop biting each other's ankles.

The "Unity Government" is reportedly currently about as stable as a Jenga tower being licked by a frantic golden retriever.

Anwar noted that if his coalition partners continue to behave like horny teenagers in a budget hotel, he will force the entire population to go to the polls until they learn their lesson.

Analysts suggest that Malaysian voters are excited to receive their biennial "don't-vote-for-the-other-guy" cash handouts, which usually arrive just before the country descends into total paralysis.

Meanwhile, Singaporeans are watching the chaos across the Causeway with the same smug satisfaction as a man watching his ex-wife’s house burn down.

The Prime Minister remains confident that he can win another term, provided everyone forgets the last three weeks of absolute nonsense.