In a world-class display of "fuck you" energy, an Ang Mo Kio landlord is shutting his coffee shop because he’s too lazy to apply for a seating permit.

Seven stall owners were given 15 days to vacate, which is just enough time to realize their life savings are now literal dog shit.

One Mookata owner invested $40,000 just to be told that an uncertified HDB awning is a crime punishable by immediate financial execution.

Authorities celebrated the closure, confirming that eating outdoors without the correct government sticker is the leading cause of societal collapse.

The landlord declined to comment, probably because he was busy Googling new ways to destroy families for fun.