A residential block in Choa Chu Kang recently transformed into a literal hotbed of excitement, forcing 70 residents to participate in an unscheduled 3 am cardio session.

While one resident achieved the ultimate permanent retirement from his corporate life, the surviving woman decided that smoke inhalation was a better lifestyle choice than staying in a 14th-floor furnace.

The SCDF arrived to spoil the fun with water jets, effectively dampening the spirits of those hoping for a block-wide barbecue.

“Wah lau, I was dreaming about winning 4D then suddenly must go downstairs,” complained one disgruntled evacuee in his Batman boxers.

“Fire also must pick time one meh? So late already still want to play smoke signal, damn sian.”

Authorities are still investigating if the blaze was caused by a faulty appliance or just the sheer friction of a man’s internalised stress.