Over 600,000 Singaporeans have officially signed up for the government’s state-sponsored stalking service.

By eRegistering with the MFA, these intrepid explorers have ensured that if they trip over a pebble in Bangkok, a diplomat will be there to blow on their bloody knees.

It turns out that despite a world-class education, the average Sinkie is physically incapable of ordering a croissant in Paris without a direct line to a 24-hour crisis hotline.

Minister Gan Siow Huang noted that while 10 million trips were made, most Singaporeans still require a GPS-tracked pacifier to survive a weekend in Johor Bahru.

The MFA is now enhancing support to handle frantic calls from aunties who can’t find a decent plate of Hokkien Mee in Iceland.

Ultimately, there is no greater comfort for a Singaporean than knowing tax dollars are used to track their precise coordinates inside a Shibuya Don Quijote.

"We want every citizen to know that Big Brother is watching you, even while you’re having a secret affair in Batam," a spokesperson definitely didn't say.