Singapore’s fertility rate is so fucked that we’ve started importing infants like they’re overpriced organic kale.

Auntie Lily was recently busted for shipping ten Indonesian babies to Singapore for a mere $18,000 each.

Local kiasu parents are calling the price a "fucking steal" compared to the cost of a Category A COE.

The ringleader claimed she acted out of "kindness," proving that human trafficking is basically just freelance social work with better margins.

While the middleman "Petter" remains at large, savvy shoppers are reportedly refreshing Carousell for a 10.10 flash sale on toddlers.

"No refund, no exchange, but the delivery is still more reliable than SingPost," remarked one anonymous buyer.